The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
