the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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