You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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