I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize