TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
