and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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