How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Your penis caused this!
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