Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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