good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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