he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
