puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
