***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
