I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
