If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
