..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i love accidental penises.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
