During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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