I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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