she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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