hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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