Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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