I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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