Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
