He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
