I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
True strength comes from lack of pants
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
