how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
