People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
