i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
