In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
