and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
