How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Buhtt sex?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
