Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
