It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
