so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
