if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My balls are so social today.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize