I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
