He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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