pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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