I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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