How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
