Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
