One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
