Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize