Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
