Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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