see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize