ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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