is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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