tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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