Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
