hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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