Already got asked if we're dating
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
