what if every blade of grass was a penis?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
