no, he came in my armpit
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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