Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
