So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
kristin has been a bad kristin
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
