Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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