I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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