he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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