Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
