He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't think brook has ever known best
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize