Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
