His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
