i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
