Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
