Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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