just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
