The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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