If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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